The AdventureEdit

The Green Realm (Continued from Session 43)

We begin today's adventure within the Green Realm. The carnage of a great battle stretched around our heroes. Treants of all makes and flavors littered the field. After looting the chest of its contents, the Henderbeards moved on. The mercenary Dorath Kir joined them as well. Soon, a maze of hedges spread out before them. They stumbled through the maze with little hope of ever reaching its end. Bob chose the way, probably randomly, but this was for the best. If they became hopelessly lost, Bob would be the one at fault.

At the end of the maze, a unkempt garden stretched out before them. With a little effort, the party met Belotra, the crazy elf bitch that held the chalice. The chalice was the key to the Green Realm, you see. Grimweld attempted to charm Belotra, not magically mind you, but with his personal magnetism. However, he was unsuccessful. Ultimately, the smiling paladin and Dorath Kir were charmed by the witch.The silly girl also attempted to charm the Great Fitz, but he turned her pathetic magics against her with his Staff of Charming.The evil swans of this temptress soon struck as well. Before this day, swans were seen as graceful and patient creatures. Now, they must all be killed. At any moment they might strike you with their lightning wings.

While the party, as always, sought a peaceful solution, the wickedness of this realm took advantage of their great piety. Belotra summoned a swarm of biting insects.The swans of Belotra began to glow with a greenish sheen and proved to be difficult opponents. Most magic found no purchase, it washed off their backs like water down a duck's back. Grimweld and Dorath Kir attacked their compatriots under her compulsion. Fitz and Bob noticed the chalice on the dais behind the elf. While the elf bitch was distracted, Bob sneaked around to the back of the dais. He grabbed the chalice and attempted to fly away, but he came back to heal people. Surrounded by evil swans and biting insects, Fitz dispelled the charm from Grimweld after Henderbeard shocked the paladin senseless.

Pelted by attacks from all sides, Grimweld collapsed, falling silent into the storm of insects and choking vines of an Entangle spell. Lightning crashed against the party. Fitz activated the Shaman's mantle, erecting a Sphere of Invulnerability around himself, while Henderbeard shocked Dorath Kir silly with Shocking Grasp. Bob saw fit to bring her cowardly ass back to the fight to get the paladin back on his feet, otherwise he would have been nickel-ed and dimed to death by the biting insects. It seemed that Bob often resented helping the paladin, and this pattern showed it self in many adventures (but that is a story for another time).

Magic Missiles, Hold Monsters, and Scorching Rays struck the evil bitch, but she devoured them in turn. Only the most unnatural of creatures could ignore Fitz's magic, so the party forgot all decency in their attacks. This evil elf bitch was the most base evil (Non-Fitzstandalist, in other words). Grimweld attacked with renewed effort, slowly chipping away her life force with Vandehay. Soon the witch fell, and with a blinding flash the party found themselves back in the snobby elf village.

Upon leaving the gag inducing elf realm, Ambriel (Queen Bitch of the Elves) created living wooden parts for the maimed and disfigured heroes. Henderbeard received an wooden ear, Bob a leg, and Fitz a new right arm. The party spent the night at the henge and in the morning headed off to the Yellow Realm.

The Yellow Realm

In the Yellow Realm, Bob healed a golden dragon and she reciprocated by giving the party some information about the realm and the Carnifex. The answers the Gold Dragon gave seemed somewhat guarded however. Like all dragons, it was a complete bastard. After the dragon took flight, a great wind struck the party, buffeting them into a turbulent wind chamber. It bounced them like rag dolls against the wall and chutes of the cavern. From side to side, to and fro they bounced. Finally, they fell through a hole in the opposite side. Fitz cast feather fall as a reaction and they drifted gently down to base of the mountain. Moving a bit further into the realm, they came upon Hyperbius and his knights.  

Fundamentally, Hyperbius was an utter bastard with manners to match. He desired to keep Bob as a muse for his work. He also fancied himself a painter. He invited the party to dinner. Fitz, of course did not drink the wine fearing poison. Unsurprisingly, a fight soon ensued. Dorath Kir challenged Hyperbius to a duel, but was proven to be his lessor in a fight. He went down, and Hyperbius intended to cut him open to feed his guts to the vultures. Bob stopped him however, and the fight broke out in earnest. Fitz ended the fight with a prismatic spray. All blinded, Hyperbius and his knights milled around like dotards attempting to make sense of their sightless prison.

Moving further into the realm, the party finally reached the oasis. Morilon the Golden was waiting there for them. He was tired of his eternal duties in the Yellow Realm. He eagerly handed over the golden circle of the realm with little coaxing. Bob and Fitz were very nervous however, as Morilon had not attempted to kill them yet. Finally, Bob convinced everyone to leave before they said 'the wrong thing' and made a good situation bad. The gracious Morilon gave all three of the adventurers a 'Heal All' potion. Bob cast air walk to get them back up to the cliff and they walked out of the realm.

With no pressing plans otherwise, they set sights on the White Realm. Finding one of the 'Carnifax clues' helpful, Dorath summoned the sea-foam steeds and they moved to cross the great stretch of water before them. They saw the island in the distance and made for it. Midway to the island, they were attacked by Astacus, a crab headed merman. He beat Dorath senseless and the mercenary began to sink under the weight of his plate mail. Fitz spared him from a watery grave and he returned to the fight, only to once again sink below the wave. Bob also went under and started to sink. The quick thinking of Fitz and the helpful sea-foam steeds were the only thing that delivered the party through the encounter.

Moving further, they reached the island. Here they were attacked by a huge white dragon. Its frigid breath proved the most dangerous. However, it was quickly killed and the party made their way to the crystal altar. In a wooded grove among stone bears, was a woman dressed in the purest white. However, that pure white robe hid a creature with a nasty disposition with a penchant for firing silvery arrows of instant death. Her name was Kerrisar and she had been waiting for years untold. All that said, her name among the Henderbeards was Crazy bitch with a bow. To receive the hourglass, the key to the White Realm, the party must answer her challenge. She challenged the party to a archery contest. Solaris was badly missed. Unfortunately, Dorath Kir failed the contest and things soon degenerated into throw down amongst the trees. Kerrisar's silver arrows did many things, but nothing too nasty given the possibilities. Ultimately, she was put down like the crazy bitch she was. Henderbeard appeared at the end of the fight to mop up and the day ended with a ride back to the henge from the sea foam steeds.The hourglass, the key to the White Realm, was now firmly in hand.


Current XP: 250,000

Current level: 16


3 Heal All Potions (heals to max HP)

Magic arrow that turns a random body part to silver.  On a hit, roll a d6:

  1. = head (fatal)
  2. = torso (fatal)
  3. = left arm
  4. = right arm
  5. = left leg
  6. = right leg

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